Some of us know
and honor
many of us know
and forget...
FRIENDSHIP TAKES TIME
it's like a garden
it has to be tended
maybe once a week can keep a friendship going
anything less is.....
a reassurance
a high grade acquaintance
a mutual memory nudge
who knows
and in a relationship
if you live together
each day
is a time to talk
each day
and the game we are setting up
is mutual tak
equal time time
talk that is about what love requires:
attention
listening
and even, a freedom an opening
to exploring saying
what we aren't sure we
are able to say
or aren't sure
we even had to say
love is exploring
in touch
and in
talk
and this blog needs to be short
and that's fine
it has some pointers to help you
if you want
in the game of talking for three minutes
here's my suggestion:
for the first couple of weeks,
don't talk about "problems"
talk about:
one:
your ideas
two:
what you are aware of in the present
( sensations,
my thigh on the chair, my fingers on the keyboard, my shirt against my neck, my breathing in and out.
impressions:
I see the screen and the words appearing
I see the wall behind the computer
I see out the window, peripherally to my right
I hear the air conditioner
I hear the cars going by
being present
seems kinda boring
don't sweat it
it's such a nice vacation from being smart
and worrying
and the whole effort of not being present
and three:
what you like in life
what you enjoy
With a partner two and three can double up:
I see your eyes and really enjoy them
I see your breathing and feel my breathing and remember how much I like you
ps,
and a BIG ps:
don't use the three minutes to rag on, complain about, or otherwise trash the other
what you like right
and no back handed compliments:
I really like those rare rare moments when you aren't a jerk
NO.
I enjoy your smile
and
then
all the other things you like:
share your presence
share your gratitude
and if there's thoughts and incidents you want to talk
about,
go for it
but these three are the basis:
what you are pondering as meaningful in your life right now
what you are aware of in the present
what you like about being alive
and you each have 3 3 minute turns in this world of being honest
and deep
with your partner
who,
it seems to me,
is likely to become a better and
better
and
better
friend
good
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