Two people, going present, then asking.....

Two people sit together

they agree to be present for the whole twenty minutes they
are going to talk

this isn't a timer discussion,
and
there is a commitment to wait, a nice long time
while listening to the other,
in case they have a little more to say

And you
are going to
sit

and be present

and wait for a question

a question that is important,

or a question that is fueled with curiosity

or a question
that is waiting in the room for one of you to discover
and
admit

admit to the room
admit to yourselves that it wants to be asked
"wants" to be asked

and as you wait,
be present
to yourself
in gravity
and
yourself in air,
breathing

be present to the other person
especially their eyes and their smile,
or not yet smile

( sooner or later, if you are telling the truth
and asking the truth
and
listening

a smile will come)

pay attention to the heart that is beating
inside your chest

and then ask your important question

always this way:

both of you are going to answer it.


So you don't ask:

"Do you love me?"

You ask, "How is your love for me going? What's easy about it, and what's hard?"

And then you both have to answer.

Slowly.

Searching.

Fumbling.

Admitting the other into your inner world

Admitting you don't know it all



And, as set up above:

Wait a long time, for them to find one or two or three more
aspects they might want to avoid in a certain way

Wait a long time in the silence when they are really done.

don't start till you've gotten quiet and heard what they had to say.

Then give your answer.


And,
if you want,
after that, what you can do, is take turns saying,
"What I got about you from what I heard you say, was..."

Or, you could put that before the second person answers the question.

It's not important.

Sharing what's deep is.

and

Whoever came up with the first question, the other person comes up with the next one.

love "making"

I like the term love making

love is worth
making

making better

making more conscious

making more communicative


what if every communication
were a
chance
to
"make"

love more real

what if the various thrashings around
under the sheets
were
slowed
slowed
slowed

way down

and the big huff and puff to climax
were sidestepped

and in
the slow
slow
slow

the making
of the WE
that baby of US

were what was important?

wouldn't that be a worthwhile way
to waste time
in the flesh

or in
the talk

or in
the silence
of non talk
not touch

but together

making....

what?

ah, discovery


good

Awake in talk, in touch, in makeout, in ...., all of you

slow down
connect deeply
wake up
discover love

awake you don't have to rush

you talk
and then your partner talks

the goal
be present while you talk
be present while you listen

then
ten minutes of sex

ten minutes in which
not to hurry
not to have any climax

just to get touching
and the juices flowing

make out:
naked

lots of touch

cock sucking,
slow,
no effort to climax

guy: relax,
let it be overwhelming
don't help
relax

woman:
go slow
sense it all

don't try to get any werhe


clitoris stroking

sit so you can see easily
lubricate
go slowly
stay on the clitoris

don't try to get her off

woman:
don't mov
don't help

just feel
just sense

both of you:
stay in the moment

ten minutes of touch

twenty minutes of talk

walk up

love without waking will always turn
to a mess

( messes aren't bad,
but this half hour is for waking up,
not making more of messes

plenty of them in life)

slow
slower
slowly

sense your body
sense your relationship to gravity
follow your body

wake up
good

touch without climax, come together, not to come, but to..... make love

The ten minutes sex before dinner
as much as possible
should never end in climax

that's why the ten minute
naked make out
is so valuable

both are giving
both are getting

it's not genitally predominant

it's oral

it's tactile

go do it

touch, dance, slow, kiss

Alternating touch and talk,
today is touch

and
let's dance

let's keep this in the
sex before dinner repertoire,

which is really,
sweet and juicy touch before dinner


and today,
or any day

as part of your ten minutes of touch
yum
before dinner

dance
no music,
keep the clothes on,
so you'll get in the habit of dancing a lot

and
dance,
slow,
and hum to each other
and
kiss
a lot

that's it:

slow,
left right left right

nothing fancy

close

hum

kiss

enjoy

good

touch, slow, turns, requests, listening

Anything in life can be improved
by
being present

many a disaster can be forestalled or
avoided
by being present

many/ all messes can be cleared up
by slowing down
and
becoming present

today,
we're back to the touching before dinner

ten minutes of making out
or
some
sort of sex

we'll let the sex be up in the air
for awhile

while you practice slowing down
and taking turns

taking turns,
almost like the communication

well,
exactly like the communication
but without any words

you might want to spend more than ten minutes with this

get your trusty timer

one of you lie down
and close your eyes

the other is to touch you
slowly
not in the genitals,
and yes
anywhere else
and everywhere else in your body

for the first day,
don't make any requests if you are the receiver while you are receiving

play like this:

first turn:

one touches,
the other feels

the timer goes off

the other one touches,
the other feels

second turn:

no words of wishing anything different in the first round,
but before each touching turn,
the receiver is to ask:

here is how I'd like to be touched ( firm, soft, tight, gentle, fast, slow, big movements, little movements) and here is where I'd like it to be concentrated

the toucher can honor that, or not

it seems kind of silly not to,
but really, a request has to be really open
if it's truly a request

after,
just a thank you,
no evaluation

and then swap around


third turn:
make a request before you receive, and for sure make in a different request,
different place
different modes of speed, pressure, length

And then
as many turns as you want,
keep going back and forth,

and each time ask for a new place
and a new set of operating procedures

....
we get into such ruts
in sex
and
in life

and we ask so rarely for what we want

and we are so worried that if we finally get on a good grove,
going anywhere else will blow the whole scene apart

touch is talking
receiving touch is listening

have the final turn,
if you wish,
no requests,
but just let the toucher be trying to tell the receiver
something

let the communication be quite
and skin level

see what happens
feel what happens

don't talk for awhile after this,
so if this is to be combined with a talking session before dinner,
do the talking session first
good

ten minute make out as chance for the power of Slow, Connect & Discover

Slow, Connect, Discover

I help people to
SLOW down
and
CONNECT deeply to themselves
so that they can

DISCOVER

Ease, grace, youthfulness, delight and pleasure

in
MOVEMENT and
LIFE


And you gentle reader
in your ten minute make out

this is your job

SLOW down the kissing
and the touching
and even the breathing

perhaps say what you are feeling as sensation
perhaps go even slower than you think is slow

and
pay attention to how the
CONNECTING
is happening

moment by moment

and in each moment see what you can
DISCOVER

about a new direction, pressure, stopping, starting, shifting

that would make
your make out

more
pleasurable, graceful, delightful, youthful

you know

just plain old

divine

cheers,
chris