the juice of the two of you
Give yourself about 40 minutes
get the timer
take 5 minute turns, and as the talking progresses
go up to 6 and 7 minutes
take your time
really
talker:
go slow
say the truth:
I don't know what to say
I want to impress you
this is what I heard you say
this is what I feel you feeling
this is what I guess you want
this is what I want
this is how I feel in my body when I talk
this is what this reminds me of
I wish you could see this about me
And any
any
anything that comes up
Listener:
don't talk
eye contact
follow your breathing and the talker's
feel your heart
feel into their feelings
listen for what they are trying to say
notice your defenses,
notice what you want to jump in with
shut up
inside
don't prepare what to say
don't work on remembering what they said
just listen,
look in the eyes
hear the tone
hear their heart
hear their body
hear their life
listen
when the timer goes off
rest a little
both in silence
before the other talks
talk about what you feel in the present
talk about what you felt in your body when the other was talking
talk about what you feel in your body when you say "hard" things to say
admit this a lot:
"This is hard to say, and...."
then say it
listener:
be honored when your partner says hard stuff to say
that means they trust you
hear why it's hard
hear their courage
listen
listen
listen
.....
good
